02/18/2016---My mom has been diagnosed with Leukemia or some variation of it. Seems the diagnosis changes daily. She called on this morning about 6 times from her cell phone while in the doctor's office. Started working on getting there. By the end of the day I was not going.
By the morning of 02/19/2016 her rude friend was insulting me to my aunt Jo and so was my nephew and she wouldn't defend me or pay for my plane ticket. Finished the day with my mom calling and saying I should wait. There is no waiting. It was now, or, thanks to everything that was said to me, never. Told off my nephew via a voicemail. My aunt and I left off with me crying and hanging up as I realized she still thinks I am a piece of shit and good for nothing. Heart broken. Felt sorry for my mom. Guess that is all me though she will be just fine without me won't she.
Realizing today (2/23/2016) it has been 4 days since I have talked to her and I am almost over being mad. Still hurt but the sting is gone. Hard to walk away from the only family you truly have left. Well, they actually walked away a long time ago, they just didn't formally announce it, that would have made them look like assholes. They will surely never feel as bad as I do about it either way. Lately I wish I felt nothing. It is becoming easier and easier though.
My deep need to save the world, my hope that life WILL someday be fair, and the want to keep my Facebook friends from removing me have finally pushed me here.....to try to turn it all into something useful or understandable, or that will make a difference for someone.
