Well it’s Wednesday
again. It is my only weekday off. The only day I have to get important M-F 8-5
business done. Always had a job where at
the least, we could use the phone. Current
job has requires being tethered to a headset for 6.5 hours of my shift with no
interruptions allowed. It never fails, when I am working on getting Tawni home
with us, the check engine light is on again in my truck, and the battery is doing
something weird. I just muddle through
though. I can at least laugh at the many
odd co-incidences and strange anomalies that go on around me. People tend to think I am nuts until they are
around and witness things. The one thing
I enjoy about growing old is the ability to laugh at things that used to plague
me. The realization and confirmation,
that something out there has a little control over some things. The confirmation may be as simple as thinking
that three people, in different cities may coincidentally all lock their keys
in their cars in a Wal-Mart parking lot at the exact same time. I had to test the theory to be sure they were
not just test calls set up by my employer.
After the next similar occurrence, I chose to believe something out
there knows when we are paying attention.
Picking a track, much
less staying on it, is always going to be a chore. Just came in from driving the girls to
school. Riding home after dropping off
the kids at school, I had an epiphany (I like to call them). I was going to paste on Facebook. In the few steps from the car to the desk,
the words originally thought to post, quickly go from a sentence to a
paragraph. I then thought of the blog
and a thousand other ideas. Sitting now,
trying to put it all into something easily understood, grammatically correct,
interesting enough for a stranger to read and most of all-something my children
will be able to follow and understand.
Sitting here, pausing
in between paragraphs, being overwhelmed with a million feelings, a thousand
thoughts and ideas and finally a small sense of peace, laughing at myself, the
realization………
The realization that I
am incapable of a single thought process has inspired a "key" for
reading my posts. Attempts to put
thoughts into a bulleted list would result in running out of sub identifiers. Moving forward, when the thought process interrupts
the thought process, a change in font color will signify it. Making it easier to just keep writing and
refrain from the over explaining. This
is the only way to get passed over explaining everything. This paragraph, Words’ spelling and grammar
check, and various other things have even inspired me use this blog to better
myself. Desire to change manner of thinking
and speaking to a more effective manner
are also fuel to this blogs fire. It is a bit odd to have a blog so lacking in
direction, that reads more like a diary than ……….
Stopped for
definition of blog.
A regularly updated
website or web page, typically one run by an individual or small group, which
is written in an informal or conversational style.
Thankfully, that “stopped
that train in its tracks” and inspired a newfound confidence in writing this
blog. On that note, an hour and ½ has
passed since I started writing this.
Turning on spell check and grammar check was a real test and took up
most of that time. No one can say I am
unwilling to change or improve though.
My original post to Facebook was going to be:
Today I am grateful for:
1. Being blessed with not knowing how awful my
life was while I was living it.
Hindsight is an amazing buffer.
2. Having the will to fight becoming a
product of that torture and examples in place to give me direction and inspire
me to rise above it.
3. A heart that continues to over ride my
mind, pushing me to keep helping others who are enduring the same or worse,
instead of focusing on me.
4. All of the people I call family/friends
who continue to inspire me.
The only thing I could want for is the
faith that there is a God and He would protect us from suffering. That is a whole other 3-hour post for sure.
