I just realized that it has been 10 years since my mom passed away. I guess about as long since I have written anything here or anywhere. It is definitely time to deal with my cousin and aunt and pray that we get what she left my family.
So much is gone and lost but $200k is nothing to scoff at. I haven't known what I am supposed to do. I thought I was doing it while they were perpetrating the fraud.
I have had a whole life of being backwards, to the point that everyone was in awe when I wanted an apology from my sister for using my identity. Something no one else would have endured but I guess no one realized that I had never made anyone apologize to me. I just forgave people and moved on and kept taking their crap. I didn't want to be alone. If only I had known it was so much better than being abused, used, mocked, tortured and left holding so many people's shit I had no idea. I generally never realized when people were shitty anyway. I feel bad for the people I was shitty to because I put up with shitty people.
I must get on with homework, finishing putting this stupid rental house in order and trying to recoup some of our losses. Just wanted to start writing again so I can keep track of things and hopefully something I write helps someone else feel better and hopefully reaches someone who can help me get what my mom left for us. It isn't what it was 10 years ago, then it would have been a car for everyone and down payment on a house, new teeth for me and fix the kids. For the first time in my life I am holding a grudge, I am asking for God, Mother Earth, Buddah to help restore what was taken from us 7 or 10 fold and for the thieves to suffer the loss and get what they give. If they had any good in them they will have made a bunch of money and have enough to pay us too. I don't think that is the case, but not my call, they certainly won't apologize because they think they did nothing wrong. Sad.
Hopefully I will learn more about God, I'd like him to show himself but unsure if that is a possibility, but it would be nice to know for sure. I hope we can enjoy life for a few years. We tried like hell to make lives for ourselves and a little grace would be appreciated.
Be blessed and feel free to comment or better yet, if something I say speaks to you, please let me know how. I had a friend tell me that my writing spoke to her, and I hope it does the same for anyone else. Another said a young Erma Bombeck, I haven't had a chance to look into that but will.
