Thursday, May 25, 2017

WHAT'S THIS LIFE FOR--PART II............."cause she ain't here anymore"......


 Was wondering why "the powers that be" can't seem to see fit for me to be able to bust my ass and live a life where I can do something good?  Afford to get on a plane and see my bff when I need to or wanted to, or show up when my mom is dying without anyone being able to stop me because I don't have to ask for help?  Or visit more with my best friend’s dad and step mom before she got sick and died.  Basically just not feel like a burden and possibly get to have “enough” to give to others instead of being needy.  Literally get knocked down every chance I get try to get up. Finally get back to school and collapse a lung. Work a job that is literally slowly killing me, because having the resources to drive to a job escape me, to keep the insurance that barely covers the cost of the medical bills to keep me alive. 

Then on the top 40 radio station they are talking about how great Taylor Swift is so great for lending Arianna Grande her plane to get her mother and her back home to Florida quickly.  I'm sorry, if I had that much money and a plane I'd be getting dead bodies to their families, and finding out what else I could do to help those who probably struggled to afford the concert ticket.  

Funny, it took three edits for me to see the irony in my wish for the money to buy plane tickets and take off work and the newsflash about Taylor Swifts’ plane—sadly there is nothing in either post that gives me hope or answers.  It tells me that I aspired and worked to be able to afford the plane, accepted that maybe only the plane tickets were in the cards for me and now left with the feeling that I was never worthy of any of it.  Where others find faith, I find the feeling of giant fist pounding me into the ground (figuratively) and stopping all efforts I make to be at least financially in charge of my own life.

I know I won't be too upset if I find myself without an interview today for a new job. This one ends at the end of the month and yeah it pays for our insurance, but it is over rated. We both (the husband and I) feel like the current insurance is just screwing with the natural selection process anyway. Yeah we have it, but it just allows us temporary medical relief and has sustained the life of Tori (11 year old twin) and I each once, but has racked up a huge debt we can't afford and if we had to pay for the care in advance we both wouldn’t be here because the insurance takes most of my check.  Then I spend most of the day dodging phone calls from collectors who act like I am living high on the hog and just not paying them out of selfish spite.

In my “over stimulated” always “trying to find the connection” and looking for “the signs” mind I hear that old drug commercial, "work more to make more money to do more drugs to work more" but you can change the word drug to anything and it's just as relevant and crazy and sadly defeating when you never ‘reach the golden ring”.  Well in a midlife crisis anyway. While you are living it it’s more of a challenge to rise above crazy and work less because you did more and only aspired to relax for a few minutes and not fear poverty and devastation at every turn.

I Never expected on trying this hard to do or be anything and my life ending wondering what the hell it was all for, or why I kept fighting so hard to try and rise above, all for nothing. Life was much better when I still had hopes that I would leave this world with people at least able to say “yeah she lived life to the fullest and helped people do _________” or “she was honest and it paid off by___________” or “sad she’s gone but she was able to leave her kids _______”.  Or “how exciting her last day on earth was spent at Disneyland with her kids after a trip across the USA in a Winnebago meeting everyone she became friends with on Facebook and people she hadn’t seen in years, spreading her moms’ ashes on a warm beach in the Bahamas”.  Not, “her fat ass had to have Mexican food from Valle Luna twice in one week and after yelling at her kids to do their chores and being ignored, had a heart attack after her intestines leaked poo into her body and they had to cut the roof off the house to get her fat ass out and no one could afford to cremate her so we threw her in a dump site”.  I thought a loving and powerful God would reserve that devastation for those who ruined the lives of innocent people, or were selfish, lazy and gluttonous; child molesters and puppy kickers.

All those years I told my mom I just wanted her and to have her appreciate how much I loved her.  Wanted to her to enjoy handing things down to me and hated when she said “you’ll get it when I die” but finally just accepted it---Did not ever expect to have my most adored, named after and named my child after hers; aunt turn on me and my kids and take it all.  Not even be able to say good bye and remember very clearly, sitting where I sit now, and feeling calm---listening to her promise that she would come get me and bring me there and thinking for the first time I was going to trust someone with my fate and it was going to be ok----to go ahead and stop freaking out and just know she was going to get me there and I would have no regrets and see my mother---when normally I would have keep asking for help, trying ideas and basically had figured out a plan even with no money at the moment she asked and no plan, like I usually do.

I have, as usual, lost my train of thought.  Well not lost it, but let it expand into 20 side tracks (good analogy huh) and need to reign it in before it derails.   The hope that I will one day feel and think and write and it will end with all those tracks coming back into the station to form one big well organized polished train, have pretty much left me (as my mind says maybe that will be the surprise now that you have put it all out there, don’t give up) and I have finally accepted my fate.  To be quiet, not fight and just try to fade out quietly, leaves me sad and hurt and faithless.  My laundry list of things that could have been worse is huge and my desire to kick and scream and tell God that those same things are now things that could have been better.  That having to settle for being grateful it wasn’t worse sucks.  The worst of it being the curses I will surely pass on to my children unknowingly and unwillingly and knowing that when I am gone they will have no one who will protect them from harm and even if they don’t deserve it they will suffer and never having gotten their sister home to them is my biggest failure.  Letting my mother in law “win” is the final act that has left me unable to find a loving a God or even one of power.  There are no miracles and doing what is right in life gets you only the knowledge that you did it and in this life you will go without for it.  No one will change their ways, or see the light, or ask for forgiveness to you or God.

The worst thing of all, the curse---when I was about 7 I was told “if you tell anyone, the will call you a liar, say you are crazy and they won’t believe you and you will be left alone” combined with “God see’s everything you do and knows what you are thinking” .  I fought it my whole life.  I couldn’t lie, cheat or steal because of it.  I wanted to believe I would “win”, that I could overcome the curse and would have a happy, productive, financially stable, good life despite all that adversity and loss.  Now, he wins.  He is still alive and the college he would have paid for never happened.  The children I raise exhibit signs of abuse they have never known and I don’t know why and they have no knowledge of my abuse.  I am without one of my children and she is being mentally tortured by my mother in law.  Every liar and thief I have gone against (almost) has prevailed in a court of law and in life while I had to stand by and take it. 

Now, after taking a shower (figure my time to reconcile my thoughts, will give God credit for the process if and when I meet him to confirm his presence and assistance)
I have a laundry list of ways to save the world, improve my life and positively affect those around me but usually set out for the day and forget all the inspiring words and ideas so here they are for this first time.

1.         1. Asked the husband to help me approach our child about her clothing, eating,
       and friends in a new way.  We love her and don’t mean to be critical, but the 
       way we have been handling things may leave her feeling/believing that people 
       who are rude and demeaning deserve a chance because we say rude and demeaning 
       things.  End result “we say one thing and do another” and how is she supposed 
       to stop talking to us.

2.            2.  Check into ability to be prophetic.  Is it a “god given gift”?  How does one 
        express to others they have a (in my veggie tales cucumber voice) message
        from the lord and is it even possible to use the gift to end death or suffering?   
       Or is it just to prepare you for it?  How can I use it and not fear it?  Wanting 
       so badly to preach it to the world and be proud in my heart that if there is a
       God, that he sees me trusts me and could use me to help those who can’t hear
       Him and better yet save us from suffering.  And how would one get their kids 
       to listen, as they thought I was nuts for watching them so closely as they 
       passed the sex offenders (not known until later) house to walk to friends houses?  
       Will try and avoid the thoughts that my time is coming soon.   

Had to take a break and run to the eye doctor, pick up Subway and eat with the husband, send my step sister a note about the attorney, send a message to a pro bono attorney I found in Austin about my mom, 3 other posts to friends on Facebook, a note to my bff to remind her/ask her to try and help me find ways to see her despite my limited income.  I was just inspired to contact the Nez Perce Indian Tribe about registering my family.  Then remembered I could look into contacting The Daughters of the Revolution for the girls.  My grandmother was one of them.  May seem archaic but when you have no role models for your kids you have to go somewhere. My Grandma was a member and seriously I don’t know how else to teach my kids refinement.  Still no email from work regarding an interview of any kind unless of course I am blind, stupid or am just not supposed to stay working there.

3.        3. I thought to send my step sister a note about contacting the current attorney 
      with a short note stating what my mom told her in lost Facebook messages 
      and emails and in person at her visit.

If there was a number four I forget it.  Thinking there was but had to get ready and go out into the world and try to do something.  No experience goes wasted on me for sure, nor do I leave anyone without challenging their minds at least and for some opening their hearts. 

I am still not the same person anymore.  Mind you I have always been changing, trying to better myself, learn new things and give back something in this life in return for the air that I breathe and space I take up.  I don’t need much help and actually if given too much help or sympathy it has an adverse affect on me and my mind.  I do however dream of a prince charming or June Cleaver or Superman or Wonder Woman coming to save me in my hour of desperation or just to tell me that I am the only one who could raise Thor’s hammer in return for my good heart and moral fiber.   But in reality I need to be needed a little and wouldn’t mind if someone took care of me for a minute. 

Since I will never hear my father apologize, or see my mother understand how much she inspired me and the respect and love I had for her and I will probably not get to see my step dad fear anything nor would giving up his life ever restore all he took from mine.  I can’t fix the hurtful things I have done unwillingly by being self conscious, and letting others in between those who love me.  The ex boyfriend just found me on Facebook, the one from when I was about 19 worked at a hotel (so I could afford to travel someday and/or travel for work).  He ended up dating my boss and everyone at work knew before I did.  Then I lost my job when she moved up from assistant GM to GM.  I haven’t added him as a friend yet.  Told him he needed a history lesson about who screwed things up and he should probably spell my name correctly.  Will wonder if it is a “sign” or just how life goes. 

Closed out the day needing $150 for Tyli's glasses, a starter for the Truck, a flat tire, and feeling a little less stressed and useless.   

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