If Memory Serves Me Right....

This is always the "way of the blog" or diary or journal, whatever.  I have some epiphany of great proportions.  I have a head full of memories and ideas.  A heart either full of love or heavy with burden either inspires so much.  I think I have found a reason, a purpose, a direction or a sign for any of those and BAM!!!  I am sick.  If not sick than the husband is causing some drama (or just being evasive enough to require too much attention for no reason) or the girls are fighting or WHATEVER.

I will not give up this time.  I finally have this here.  Whether or not I ever let it go "public"  will  remain to be seen.  Whether I live long enough to have any of it matter will also only be proven in time.  

Just finished training at work.  Sunday will be my official first day of AAA membership services customer care.  Thought Toys R Us was "my place".  Starting to feel that AAA may be served the same.  Don't know.  It is really the first time my surroundings seem to show me that I am to be there with this group of people.  It is the first time my mind tells me this instead of my heart or my gut.  None of which I can technically feel anymore for various reasons.  

Note to self, wondering why in school as a child we were asked for our 5 or 10 year plan?  In AA/NA we are taught to take it "one day at a time".  In church we are told things will happen in God's time.  We are constantly affecting by the timing of others we are close to.  How is one to determine what "time" they are to follow?  Without a 10 year plan I feel irresponsible.  Considering God's time I feel left behind or possibly way too far ahead.  AA/NA they tell you 1 day at a time so you can fail and forgive yourself the next day.  

The kids are far too quiet so I better exit the "office' and stretch my swollen legs.  Head cold is not helping either.  As always there will be more, until there isn't.