As I stood in the bathroom unwrapping a new package of "surgical dressing" to cover my "leg wound", I realized (quietly in my head to myself) "these are just glorified maxi pads". Like you would purchase on the feminine isle for the same price but those boxes come with 5 times more.
Then before I can even turn and leave the bathroom, "the voice" in my head comes up with "wow, good Christians pride themselves on not being driven by things or letting them control their lives but supposedly being led by God. The same thought leads to a hummm moment thinking how many people in my grandma's generation or earlier probably used the same piece of cloth or material for a billion different things without fancy packaging, marketing, all of the price differences and literal BS that goes with, lets call it "progress". Truly seeming that all humans, intentionally or not, thanks to technology, truly are slaves to their "stuff". We have come all of this way to take what worked fine for so many things, like a maxi pad, and revamp it so many times over that we can't decide half the time which one to pick.
This whole thought process now has to be summarized as the call came for me to pick up our kids from school as the husband can't be back in time to do so in his legal, air conditioned work truck. I have to now in the unregistered, uninsured, dirty, old car with rare bursts of semi hot air.
Anyway, in closing, I had to wonder what people would be doing if that hadn't worked and learned and designed all new things, ways to use them and re-market them to themselves at ridiculous prices and spending more on packaging and advertising than they do on quality.
Luckily the neighbor interrupted to bring me some bread she had too much of and chat a minute. I went to the back yard to pick up a few things and get food from the freezer. No more time to ponder the possibilities of the universe and it's creation and progress vs failure and the bigger question......was there a "God"? What are his "standards" for us? When did he, or what event caused Him to stop caring what happened to us? What happened to miracles and blessings and why does it seem the only real one's are seen by people who notice the smallest of things or actions or reactions to things because they are so desperate to find anything positive to hang on to. The rest of the world just seems to go day in and day out doing what they do and living like no one is watching or cares.
Better head out or I will have to drive around the school 100 times to get at those kids.
Will ponder the husband thing on my way I suppose. Married him with the understanding that I didn't want to have to beg anyone to hang out with me and I wouldn't stand for someone lying to me. At this point I am realizing that he didn't so much love me as he didn't want anyone else to. He doesn't want to do anything ever and seems to slow me down more than anything anymore. Like the last tickets in the other van that ruined my 7 year streak of perfect driving record. It actually would have been 10 now that i think about it.
My deep need to save the world, my hope that life WILL someday be fair, and the want to keep my Facebook friends from removing me have finally pushed me here.....to try to turn it all into something useful or understandable, or that will make a difference for someone.
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