Wednesday, August 19, 2015

If only I were capable of one word replies. One sentence would even be great.

If only I were capable of one word replies.  One sentence would even be great.

The blog thing never quite takes off.  If I answer emails, talk to people in person or on the phone, or post on Facebook I am generally left unable to muster the energy to sum it all up in a witty synopsis for a blog.  However I will keep trying.  If nothing else, the quest to be well spoken, get my point across in few words, will be trying to be achieved.  I still may say something that inspires someone else who may have gone through life uninspired.  I can hope that I have something to say that matters, that makes a change in the world as it is now and who knows maybe someday something I said will be quoted by scholars or preserved forever in a Facebook meme.  Shooting for scholarly:  as I have always had a deep disdain for the word meme.  Lol. 

Today my replies to Facebook private messages were the forum for all the energy I had and thoughts and events of the day.  In reply to my conversation with my step-sister with regard to her maternal uncle in prison and our mutual hate of sicko’s in general.  Emails and posts have been edited to protect the innocent and spell checked and formatted correctly so they can be read and not judged laziness when talking in writing. lol.

This all had more meaning and seemed relevant this morning.  Day full of AAA, 1 van finally towed to see about repair, pick up glasses, pay bills, fight with kids.  Copying forgotten homework.  Signing up for band etc.  And finally listening to my usually gruff, grouchy, husband say "i know right?" to everything I say while wearing his new goofy glasses and playing on facebook.

Thank god. i met the lady who runs the websleuths site. It is cases that go unsolved or support for various victims. Though work. a mom had asked for letters to the parole board for her ex husband who only ended up with a 9 year out of 50 year sentence and they have let him go before the board for the last 3 years and will again until the 9th year when i guess they have no choice but to let him go. i decided to write a letter for her. I have coped for so many years under a brave face but as the years go on and my girls get bigger i am constantly hit with some epiphany or realization and thank god only few memories that inspire me to do something for someone. Writing that letter was hard as it was truly a realization as what is truly stolen from a child. i don't care who you are or what you have experienced but no one should ever minimize how horrible this crime is and how the ones who commit it are truly soul-less, heartless, criminals capable of anything since they convince themselves they have done no wrong. i hope they all die. Their very existence makes it hard to believe there is a GOD or if there is one what the hell his motivation is. Love you lots and lots.  8/19/2015 12:32pm.

Then the ones to my good friend

7/15, 8:23am Tami Tillman 
He never made it out of the house. He kept trying to call and duke wouldn't answer. In the interim my leg has started "leaking", I almost lost my job, had a blow out that i guess ended well with Tawni and now just trying to stay alive. I made bread and muffins just before work and intended to bring it to you and they ended up burnt and then I got put on blast at work. Still have the Wen for you and think of you every time I look at it. Tony has been working days and it is too hot to drive the damn car. I don't think duke has even called tony back since then, now that i think about it, i ended up talking to you first. Tony dragged it around a while and i apologize for not coming over with it sooner I just barely get out of my chair. My computer blue screened twice now. Last time black screen, still not sure how i got it back up but managed too. btw do you have a doctor or know a doctor that is 'hip" to thyroid issues, or circulation problems, or god only knows what? i don't even know where to start. Should probably just go to the ER first but I am so gross I won’t go anywhere. Told tony female exams are out I even close my eyes in the shower, no one else is going to look at this crap either. Lol won't go anywhere. Told tony female exams are out i even close my eyes in the shower, no one else is going to look at this crap either. Lol 

8/16, 9:15am Tami Tillman
Don't make me just show up and bang on your door screaming how you don't love me anymore. You know I will.......heart emoticon

8/16, 4:47pm Marce XXXXX
Yea, I know. A lot going on. We found out my brother has cancer. A couple friends died, my wobbly cat's, cat died after a $400.00 trip to the vet. I've been kinda looking for a car but can't get Duke off his girlfriend long enough to look at any of them. My friend that Duke hates found a girlfriend so I won't see him for the next few years and he's about the only one that knows me. I've been arguing with my sister. I want to move because I hate this fucking ghetto apartment but don't know about my sister living with me again, if I move, yet I really can't afford to get an apt by myself and it's fucking hotter than hell. I can keep going but I won't. So, how are you, Tony and the little ones? And you better go to the fucking Doctor! Do you have high blood pressure, diabetes? That would cause swelling.

8/16/2015, 4:48pm Marce XXXXX
Oh and I sleep 75% of the day away because it is so fucking miserable!

08/19/2015 11:42am Tami Tillman
I love you. You can tell me anything. You can come here anytime. the kids have pc's in the living room so you could come hang out and do stuff there late at night because we have "insomnia" I just had one of the vans towed to see how much to fix it so I don't have to be at the mercy of Tony's work truck I will get there. i know i have high blood pressure at least. It is probably mostly from the IUD getting fat and sitting at this desk all day. i hit my right leg and it split open it is finally getting a scab and healing. It’s gross being old period.

Then the one to my dead friends’ husband

 08/19/2015 11:32am Tami Tillman
About the same. Trying not to lose my right leg. Shooting for that hollow leg everyone kids about. Trying to get my vans on the road so i can go get my rights restored and go to court to get my oldest kid back before she ends up pregnant at 15 or worse living with those fucktards we call their grandparents. think of Jules all the time when I am going thru this shit as she was always there to listen as some crazy shit would happen like a failing UA's for drugs I never did or sitting in jail for warrants that weren't mine. Remembered the other day, holding her hand at the funeral and worrying i had just knocked her casket over. Lol. Any you and the tweek.she always had a story worse than mine or a duck story to tell me, crazy neighbor or whatever to make me laugh.

Then the one with my step sisters’ uncle

8/17, 8:30pm Winston xxxxxxxx
Don't see any FB post anymore from U did U break ur fingers???

8/19/2015 11:53am Tami Tillman
You are sweet. I think of you while i am playing my games i will see you post something and it pops up as a notice in my bottom screen. Was going to say I don’t' see you on the feed then realized I haven't been on here much. I got very sick, and also a good friend who died had a husband who was I thought a friend then took a verbal stab at me when he decided to be not so 'less than honorable" to her memory. So I shied away from answering posts. My emails each have about 600 to return from 4 boxes. i almost lost my job, so I refocused and had to put my all into that. No one could really help so no use posting really. AREN'T YOU GLAD you asked lol. I am a handful for sure. Think of you all often and would love to get out of az and come see D and meeting the rest of the family some day


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