Well finally progress. Well in my strange little world anyway.
Sitting at computer, legs and feet swelling each minute. Kids in
the backyard attempting to clean 3 months of dog doo that is supposed to be
done at least every other day--not month. Mostly arguing and doing and saying
anything to get out of it. Daddy getting fed up and me starting to freak out on
new neighbors and how scary we both sound when yell to be heard and hell out of
sheer frustration. I did "my thing" to come up with money for bills
and to fix the vans and was about to just sit here and get upset.
New change for the day. Got up and got all the things
I had managed to gather for such an occasion over the months. Threw some
slippers on (previously accidentally figured out they help my creepy crippled
feet when worn wet for a while and keep stickers out). and I hand washed the “felonywaitingtohappenmobile" (just remembered I need to swap the wiper blades). I wiped down the inside cleaned out the crap while listening to a neighbor practicing drums. Met the new lady next door; before she could form a horrible opinion by our volume. Waved hi to the neighbor Tony accidentally road raged on the way to open house at school and he said hi!
Also managed to work on the toy box; with the warped bottom. Pulled
it off, rewet it, and put plastic tubs on it to dry. Now sitting at my desk
mopping the floor under it with my new "multi-tasking" slippers (patent
pending--ha) (those dry ones for dusting just seemed to dusty). Writing this
while Tony takes kids to church (tried to pull a kid drama fit and make me do
it--flat out told him no and they were all going cause I don't deserve to be
punished.
Yesterday I watched a YouTube video on how to tint home windows
since our backdoor is a half assed mess right now. Bonus was I watched the one
on how to do car windows (still need to watch the one for back windows - no
guys from Germany the tint doesn't go on the outside and it isn't that fast
when you are tinting a yugo. Even I'm not that gullible. So I am thinking about
finishing the mop job on the floor on my way to the box of tint the last
tenants left behind and to redoing the back door and working on doing the car
so at least it is clean and no so embarrassing to drive. Tint is pretty dark,
might draw attention but hell the tags (that I managed not to look at the whole
time)are at least 1-2 years out of date and I'm still here. Knock on wood.
That is my story. Should shed some light on why I have been a
nutcase I NEED A VEHICLE THAT CAN MAKE IT 5 MILES SO I CAN GET THINGS DONE.
Also to get away from this family long enough that they can use some of what I
have been yelling since they were small and fend for themselves some cause we
have somehow enable ourselves into a dysfunctional group of "I'M NOT DOING
IT IF YOU'RE NOT, I'm not doing it at all, I’m going to do nothing and when I
do I won't do enough to be appreciated or thanked" mess instead of the
well oiled machine we should be.
Thank you for listening while I screamed, yelled, cried and did
everything possible not to succumb to being trapped in the house, fat and
useless. Still have to get the money to fix the cars, but a little more
inspired. I have been "working" on my dad's case, or bringing
attention to it, I have been trying to get the vans fixed, need to get kids to
dentist and me to doctor. I need to get to CA as well and MO after...
Wish there was someone content with sitting on their butt that
would will me their vehicle so I could get busy running circles around someone.
This is a waste of life. Fighting it until they turn me to ashes.
Thank you to my wonderful friend for inspiring me, taking the
time to talk to me, helping me with some information and material (I think) to
get my life a little more in order. Thanks to my husband for keeping a job, no
matter what, and although you are a pain in the ass at least you chose the high
road and are trying to achieve a 'normal' life for our kids.
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