POST TO MY FRIEND DIANNE THIS MORNING ON FACEBOOK OF COURSE. SUFFERING FROM PANIC ATTACKS IT SEEMS. OF COURSE MY KEYBOARD DIED THE OTHER DAY WHEN SHE ORIGINALLY ASKED FOR HELP (WITH WHAT SEEMED TO BE) PANIC ATTACKS (ANYWAY).
I tried to post to you the other day but my keyboard was fried. As to the panic attacks. The usual medical answer is a small dose of xanax. The best help I can offer is to call me anytime it happens. Doesn't matter where or when just call, I am very good at talking people down from this (comes from needing someone to do it for me). Or talk to anyone who is familiar and will talk to you "low, and slow and tell you you are ok". PTSD and panic attack advice is, if you are alone, find a focus point--your purse, a picture, your shoe and focus your eyes on it only and "self talk" out loud or in your head the details of the item while trying to slow your breathing. Until the feeling passes. Our miss Brutal Julie Lovelace-Ochoa used to help talk me down from these "episodes" when I was alone in the world and my over thinking brain, or unfamiliar surroundings and horrible people would get me "going". Can be caused by lack of sleep, too much stress, and figuring out I didn't have to have been through a war to have PTSD helped me work out the issues. Counseling helped. Medication helped. Having people around me who knew what was going on helped. Something as unobvious as a smell can trigger it or a place or a person. Being a strong, independent, caring female comes with it's share of shit you have no control over--like your brain and your heart just not being able to handle anymore stress for a while. I always wondered how anyone would know when enough was enough and couldn't take anymore--panic attacks are one way your body will just show you. They can feel like a heart attack, or even asthma attack, and what it does to your mind probably varies--for me it felt like (for lack of a better description) my brain was running about 10 miles ahead of my head and my vision would turn into a tunnel trying to catch it. I'm serious about calling me if you just need someone familiar to empty your head to or tell you reassuring things to calm you down. Get lots of rest. I had to start turning off my phone, the TV, anything that kept my brain an heart stimulated by outside things or bringing up memories. I posted this on your wall feeling like it was one of those times that someone else out there may need to hear(read) this too. I am always willing to listen or will help in anyway I can when anyone is going through this. I can't offer much help any other way these days, so I would love to hear from you and find my best asset is doing anything I can to save someone from anything I have had to endure even once. At least I served a purpose and am so senile anything you need to share or say is easily unloaded and forgotten. Laughing now, when i went thru the worst of these things I had only Elmer for support....I had said I was afraid I was crazy and lost my mind. His advice was "hey stupid if you were crazy you wouldn't know it". Just having someone say something so "abrupt and to the point" helped me to regain my will to fight it.
Prior to this, I was on the phone with another long time friend Jennifer, called me after I posted on her facebook last night. Her page was odd looking when I was inspired to go to it. I noticed (feeling like a stalker myself but rolling with it) that she had followers on her timeline. Thought it was odd she would even allow it and especially one of the names. Left her a hello, sent her a PM asking what was going on, and hoped she wouldn't think I was nuts or just nosey. She burst into tears on the phone. I have had this effect on people all of my life. I am today, grateful for the gift of knowing when something is wrong with someone and delivering some kind of message that might help. She will be deleting, blocking and removing those "followers" from her facebook page and God or Buddha or whom or what-ever willing she will be fine. I wasn't thrilled at scaring her, but we have been friends long enough that she was able to calm down, tell me she was glad I said something and I will keep doing what I do and saying what no one wants to hear because I know and will remain confident that nothing would dare come through me trying to hurt anyone.
My oddest fear today is that the realization of my gift and/or the confidence in myself will be short lived and it means that my life is coming to an end. I have had a couple of occasions where the "episodes" I have when someone is passing away came over me and at the end I was left with thinking the person was me. No one I know of was dieing or dead. One time I was given the words that I was next on my heart. Nothing.....then Julie died, then Natalie. I had a mild heart attack a few months ago and am not in the best health but am still here. I am unsure of anyone gaining this and living to tell about it. Will probably be inspired to start probing the minds of people---then stopping myself thinking good luck finding anyone who knows they are going to die and can talk about what they think or how they feel and before it is time to go.......
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